A Beautiful Mess

Love is one of those things that people talk about all the time, but when you really sit down to think about it, what does it actually mean?

Being the curious and inquisitive person I am, I decided to dig deep.

I read articles, watched videos, scrolled through Reddit threads, anything that could give me a better understanding of love, how to know when you’re in it, and how it’s different from other emotions. One thing I realized is that there’s no single definition of love.

Because Peter sees love in a certain way doesn’t mean Paul will see it that way. Love looks different to everyone.

For the past few days, I’ve been binge-watching Love Is Blind on Netflix.

The whole idea of the show is that you can fall in love with someone without ever seeing them, just by forming an emotional connection. And while I think that’s sweet, I don’t fully agree with it.

Love, to me, is all-round. It’s not just emotional. It’s physical, mental, even practical. Attraction matters. Compatibility matters. The way you handle conflict matters. But still, after watching the first season, at least two couples made it to the end, and that honestly shocked me. Maybe there is something to this whole “love is blind” thing after all.

Let’s start with the basics. There’s:

• Storge – the love you feel for family.

• Philia – the love you feel for friends.

• Eros – romantic love.

• Agape – unconditional love, which is considered the highest form of love.

I have so many thoughts on agape love that I’ll get into later. But for now, I think love is both an emotion and a choice.

You can feel love all you want, but if you don’t act on it, nurture it, and put in the effort, it won’t last. Love isn’t just about how someone makes you feel in the moment, it’s about how much you’re willing to sustain that bond.

Love is beautiful, but it also makes you vulnerable. And I learned that recently.

I had an argument with someone I love. It wasn’t even about the argument itself, it was about how it made me feel. I felt unseen, unheard, and maybe disconnected?

That emotional disconnection? That’s what hurt the most.

From the moment the argument ended, to when I went to bed, to when I woke up the next morning, I didn’t feel like myself. It was like a part of me was off. And that’s when I realized, love is deep. Because the only reason I felt that way was because I genuinely cared about this person.

But here’s the part that really changed my perspective: love is in the resolution.

Instead of holding onto anger, I initiated the conversation to fix things. Normally, I’d expect the guy to take the first step, but I found myself reaching out. Not out of weakness, but because I didn’t want our bond to suffer. And that’s when it hit me: love isn’t about pride, it’s about choosing the other person, even when it’s hard.

I’m not a firm believer in “soulmates” because people often treat it like something that just happens, like a coincidence. But I don’t believe anything in life is a coincidence. Everything happens because someone has put things in place for it to happen.

This means you don’t just meet someone and suddenly think, “I’ve met my soulmate.” No. I believe love doesn’t work like that. There’s a lot of effort involved. It takes two people being intentional about each other, making the choice to love, and doing the work to make it last.

This whole experience has shifted my perspective on love. Before, I saw it as just something that happens, but now, I see that love is also something you do. It’s a series of choices.

So, what is love? I think the answer keeps changing as we experience it. And maybe that’s the beauty of it.

I never saw myself writing a newsletter about love.

wow.

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