When rest feels like guilt
At the start of this year, like everybody else, I wrote down specific goals, things I wanted to achieve either early or later in the year. I had my plans set, and I was determined to hit them within a certain time frame.
But as time went by, I don’t know if there’s a specific name for this feeling, but I got overwhelmed. Burnt out. And I just needed a break. I think I’m in that break right now.
The problem? I don’t know if I’m overdoing it or underdoing it.
Like, I’ve set these goals, but now that I’m pausing, am I resting too much or too little? That’s the issue. It’s this weird space where I know I need to rest, but at the same time, I feel guilty about it. It makes me feel unserious, like I’m slacking while everyone else is out there grinding and achieving things.
I’m not going to give some cliché speech about how “rest is productive” and “you shouldn’t feel guilty” because let’s be honest, that’s not how it feels in the moment. Instead, this is me saying what’s probably been on your mind too, and we can both try to figure it out together.
There’s also the question of when to rest. I’ve realized that sometimes, feeling overwhelmed isn’t even because you’re overworking, it’s because, in your head, you have so much lined up to do that it feels exhausting before you even start.
I had three major goals this year. And to be honest? I’ve only been working actively on one, kind of working on another, and barely touching the last one. And even with that, I started feeling like I was running on empty. So I stopped. Now, the question is, was that the right call? Or did I just let myself off the hook too soon?
That’s the tricky part about rest. When you stop moving, your mind suddenly has space to think. And sometimes, instead of feeling relaxed, it just starts overanalyzing everything. Am I meant to be resting right now? Should I be doing something else?
First off, we need to rest. I need to rest. You need to rest. That’s a fact. But here’s another fact: too much rest turns into laziness. And take it from a chronic lazy person, once you cross that line, it’s hard to come back.
I’ve noticed that for me, planning ahead helps. Not in the “super organized, everything-on-a-timetable” kind of way, but in the I-know-myself kind of way. Because I know I procrastinate. I know if I don’t set some kind of structure, I’ll keep pushing things off.
And let’s be real, sometimes you’re not even tired, you just don’t feel like it. That’s when rest becomes an excuse.
I remember back in 200 level, there was this girl in my hostel. She was in an engineering department, I think, and they had this crazy tough course. Everyone was reading like their life depended on it. No breaks, barely sleeping, just coffee and cramming.
Then one day, out of nowhere, she snapped. Like, actually snapped. She started acting completely off, walking around the hostel talking to herself, not making sense. She had literally read herself into a breakdown.
That’s when it hit me: not resting is just as dangerous as over-resting. Your body and mind will shut down if you don’t give them a break.
So, How Do You Rest Without Feeling Guilty?
I don’t have all the answers, but here’s what I’m trying to do:
1. Schedule rest the way you schedule work. If I can set deadlines for tasks, I can set deadlines for breaks.
2. Find balance. Instead of stopping everything completely, I can do light work, like journaling, reading, or soft learning, so I feel like I’m still moving forward.
3. Hold myself accountable. Last year, I had exams, work, and I was organizing my NGO’s first outreach, alone. I was burnt out. And even when I knew I needed to rest, I still didn’t know how. That’s when I reached out to a friend, and honestly, just having someone remind me to breathe helped more than I expected.
Rest is necessary, but the guilt that comes with it? That’s something we have to unlearn. It’s about knowing when to push and when to pause.